Raising boys

Ok, I'm one week into 3yo summer holidays from pre-school and I'm already on the edge.  I shamefully cried down the phone to my husband yesterday because I couldn't think of what to do with them.

The baby (6mo) is easy, or relatively at least when he's not teething and whining all the time.

It's the 3yo that's causing me grief.  I thought I was bringing him up to be a kind and thoughtful young man, but it seems that instead I have created a monster.  Everywhere we go he seems to want to play an aggressive game and it almost almost always ends in tears (usually not his).  The problem is he actually wants to play and have fun, he just doesn't understand that he tends to play on a different level to most children.  In a desperate attempt to find help, I bought the book Raising Boys this week by Steve Biddulph after many recommendations.  It's going well, a lot of his behaviour is being explained and it seems I have a high testosterone son.  This, I have concluded from many symptoms, including

1. a determination to be "in charge"
2. challenging behaviour and competitiveness
3. high energy levels and an inability to stand or sit still for very long
4. a higher that average amount of interest in his "winky!

Unfortunately I'm yet to reach the point in the book which tells me what on earth I can do about it!  So far it's covered:

1. Give him structure: check
2. Surround him in love: check
3. Calmly guide him through conflicts: check
4. Have a involved father: check
5. Give him lots of exercise: check
6. Don't put him in childcare until he's three: fail

I think he has the potential to be a wonderful person, a real leader and someone who's good at sport too.  But if I don't help him to manage his traits it could all go horribly wrong.  I guess it's just going to take time, perseverance and patience - I'll keep you posted.

In the mean time I need to go and stop him trying to control the entire soft play centre "Be quiet everyone, listen to me...." *sigh*